Tuesday, October 13, 2009

To Ayah or Not to Ayah?

It seems like just about every family here has an ayah (a nanny). In the beginning, I said that I definitely do not want an ayah. I am not working, so I see it as my job to stay home with the boys. However, it would be nice sometimes to be able to leave Arthur home, away from the pollution and crowds, while I go out and do some errands. Or, to let him sleep while I get Dorian from school. Or, have some free time to meet a friend for coffee or explore a bit of Delhi. But, does that make it worth hiring someone on a full-time basis? Do ayahs work part-time? These have been the questions I've been pondering for the past week. Last Friday, I went to an association that has files upon files of available house staff with the added bonus of those people looking for work waiting outside ready to be interviewed. Walking up to the office door seeing all those people sitting, waiting, hoping to be interviewed, in and of itself was quite an experience. Of course, it makes you want to hire someone, just to give them a job. I did speak with three different ayahs. They were all nice and good with the boys, but something just didn't feel right. I realized, after much thought, that I don't want an ayah. Even if it means I don't get to do certain things, I don't want to miss this :

And, as luck would have it, a mother from school put me in touch with a babysitter who happens to live 3 doors down from us. The best of all possible worlds.


  1. It's a challenge to raise our own kids, but I want to earn each and every hour of therapy my boys have to go through as adults as they try to figure out how one woman could wreak so much havoc on their lives. Just kidding. I'm proud of your decision and they are better off because of it. Use the babysitter often too!

  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you my dear friends. It's hard though sometimes, especially yesterday afternoon when I show up at a play group and I'm the only mom there. Ayahs talking amongst themselves in a language I don't understand. I felt very awkward and out of place, then a bit angry because I shouldn't feel that way while spending time with my kids.

  3. Oh Caitlin, this made me tear up! (no i'm not pms'ing either!)

    It's such a struggle, isn't it? I'm hoping to interview some cook/ayahs next week and while I have my fingers crossed that one of them works out, it has been NICE this week to NOT have anyone filling that role, because it means I am needed, and doing what only I can do BEST for my children.

    Having said that, it sure would be nice to have a kid-free lunch!


  4. It is a struggle. We just want the best for everyone. Sometimes it means being there and sometimes it means having some extra help so we can take a step back (or away for lunch with friends!) so can come back and be at our best for them. Good luck with the search! I'll keep my ears open and pass any info along.